I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize