I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
