I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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