I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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