I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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