no, he came in my armpit
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
