I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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