Barsexuality is the new black.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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