she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
