I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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