You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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