I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
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He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
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You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize