When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
