It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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