I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
