Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
This is classic penis vs brain.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
