Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
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He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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