I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
