WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
just tell him i said nine months
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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