He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
