Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
