How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
