I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I looked at my own cervix.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
