Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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