Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
