Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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