Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
one might say we're banned from that church
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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