i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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