My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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