I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.