i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
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Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
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Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver