so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
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girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
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cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.