Swine flu. Run for my life!
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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