the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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