You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
