Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
