Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
