I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
