So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
