I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize