Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
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sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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