Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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