Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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