Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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