is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
