STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
