They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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