I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
