dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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