We named our party play list daddy issues
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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