Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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