We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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