so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
