well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
