Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
