Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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