i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
