Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Randomize
