are you still at the devil's house?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
