Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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