I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
