At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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